Mended Musings

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Trigger Points Anthology has been re-released as Parenting with PTSD: the impact of childhood abuse on parenting and the Kindle version is available for free on Amazon today! The listed price is $0 so you don’t need to subscribe to Kindle Unlimited to purchase it for free. Words cannot express how amazing this book is. The stories told by parents/survivors are raw, honest and insightful. If you are an abuse survivor/parent or… Read More

When I come across a picture of myself as a child, I fight against what I see. I see her smiling face but most of the time, I don’t remember being her. In my childhood memories, I’m not really a child at all but something other. I’ve been in recovery for awhile now and I still struggle with explaining what that means, what it means to have never really felt like a… Read More

In our part of the country we’ve already been on summer vacation for a month so while some of you are just getting started, I’m already knee deep in “I’m bored.” And it’s been really hot here – like 110 degrees – so most days we’re just trying to not combust. My kids are 5 and 6 so in addition to keeping them alive, they look to me to be their entertainment… Read More

My son started kindergarten this year and his teacher sends home a weekly reading log for us to record what we read to him. We’re supposed to read a minimum of 20 minutes a day and then he has to draw a picture and write a couple of sentences about his favorite book. Well, this week’s reading log is filled with mayhem. Absolute Mayhem, that is. My Blogger-Buddy-Extraordinaire, Kelly Suellentrop published her… Read More

My husband and I were discussing the possibility of selling my minivan and getting a newer vehicle when my son, who will be 6 in a couple of weeks, overheard us. “Are you talking about the van? You’re talking about selling the van? You can’t sell the van. I love that van. Don’t sell the vaaaaaaaaaaan!” Then he cried for a half hour. Real tears, little bony shoulders shaking, eyebrows raised into… Read More

Before my husband and I had kids, we had dogs. We were the kind of dog owners that thought we were superior to parents of children because to us, dogs were clearly superior to children. They don’t keep you up all night crying, you only have to feed them once or twice a day and they poop outside. If you want affection, all you have to do is invite them on the… Read More

It was my 5-year-old son’s idea. Kids in his preschool class had been talking about sitting on Santa’s lap and getting their picture taken. He’s usually slow to warm up to new adventures so I was surprised at how eager he was to do this. He mentioned it several days in a row before I finally relented and said with false enthusiasm, “Let’s go to the mall!”

One of the things that surprised me the most about parenthood was how much closer it brought me to my mom, dad and stepmom. One reason is being able to relate to them on a different level (now I know what they had to deal with when I was a kid) but the biggest reason is that watching my parents love my kids has opened my heart to trust and reconciliation.

Today marks the 30th day of my No Nelling Challenge, which I embarked upon to help me stop yelling at my kids. When I first got started, I thought that it would be possible to never yell but if it is possible, I’m not there yet. Luckily, I didn’t start over every time I slipped or else I’d be back on day 5. It makes me wonder about the pressure we put… Read More

Sometimes my ability to make decisions quickly complicates my life in unexpected ways. I think God made me this way because if I was in the habit of thinking things through, I’d never take any risks at all. When I decided to start a No Nelling challenge 19 days ago to stop yelling at my kids, I didn’t honestly believe it would be that difficult. I’d just do what other bloggers had… Read More