Mended Musings

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Today marks the 30th day of my No Nelling Challenge, which I embarked upon to help me stop yelling at my kids. When I first got started, I thought that it would be possible to never yell but if it is possible, I’m not there yet. Luckily, I didn’t start over every time I slipped or else I’d be back on day 5. It makes me wonder about the pressure we put… Read More

Sometimes my ability to make decisions quickly complicates my life in unexpected ways. I think God made me this way because if I was in the habit of thinking things through, I’d never take any risks at all. When I decided to start a No Nelling challenge 19 days ago to stop yelling at my kids, I didn’t honestly believe it would be that difficult. I’d just do what other bloggers had… Read More

I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t have a Nelling problem as much as a general piss off/bad attitude problem; a chronic curmudgeon-ness that sneaks its way into my days and plants its stinky butt on my couch. I’ve found that when I purposefully speak gently and lovingly, even if I don’t feel that way, it makes such a profound difference to my kids that even if it is a big… Read More

I took the kids to a park that has a manmade lake with ducks. There’s a big sign that says “Don’t Feed The Ducks” but it doesn’t say anything about the pigeons so I let the kids throw some crushed rice cakes to the birds. Within seconds, a huge swarm of pigeons surrounded my son, which he thought was hilarious. It was pretty funny until a weird dude (by weird I mean… Read More

Anyone who is in recovery knows that recognizing triggers is vital to staying in recovery and preventing relapse. I feel confident that I know what most of my drinking triggers are because I put a lot of effort into tracking them in the first months of sobriety. I’m taking the same approach with not yelling.

My daughter, who is almost 3, comically controls her universe. If I scold her, she stamps out my words by saying, “Stop talking! Stop talking!” If I give her a disapproving look, she responds by closing her eyes so that she can’t see me. My son, on the other hand, is 4 ½ and developing a conscience. He can’t tolerate disapproval and will often respond with, “I want you to be dead… Read More

Life is a balancing act. You have to balance work and home. Achieve balance. How many times have we heard that it’s all about balance? I don’t see it that way anymore. A lovely friend and I were talking one time about all the things we juggle with work and young children. She gave me some great insight into how she looks at life. It’s not about balance at all. It’s about… Read More

Dear Santa, It’s been a long time since I’ve written you a letter. I’ve been thinking a lot about you and feeling a bit guilty. You see, I have two kids now and the threat of Santa’s naughty list comes in handy this time of year. I’m sure you hear that a lot.