Mended Musings

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  When I was young, we lived off and on in a small adobe house with four rooms. It had water running to the sink in the kitchen but no bathroom. We used an outhouse in the backyard and kept a coffee can under the bed for nights when it was too cold to go outside. What stands out in my memory is how tidy my mom kept the house, taking pride… Read More

  “There is a common misconception in our culture about who suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and what it looks like. A quick Google image search will lead you to believe that the majority of those living with PTSD are men in uniform, when the reality is that women are twice as likely to develop it as men, and it can be acquired in a number of ways. Not all wars take… Read More

Getting our taxes done used to be my least favorite thing until I discovered buying a house. What was supposed to be a fairly straightforward process turned into a stressful nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from. It’s certainly not life threatening, but it’s not nothing either. When all of your belongings are packed into a moving truck and you have no idea when or where it’ll be unpacked, it’s emotional. The… Read More

Hellllloooo? Is anyone out there? I’ve been away for so long that I hope you all haven’t forgotten me. We are finally in our new house and I plan to start posting again soon. In the meantime, I’m honored to be a part of Kelsey Munger’s thought provoking series on self-care with a piece that I wrote last year. I have a feeling that this is going to be a lifelong lesson… Read More

I discovered David Bowie in my dad’s record collection in 1982 when I was 12 years old. I was mesmerized by Ziggy Stardust and listened to that record incessantly. In my daily life I was trying hard to suppress overwhelming feelings but when I heard those songs, I could cry and lament because it wasn’t me – it was the music. It allowed me to express feelings that scared me in a… Read More

I keep checking in with myself. “Am I ok?” Then I pause and wait for some sign or feeling that I’m not ok and it hasn’t come.  This feeling of stability is wonderful, especially with the craziness that I’ve taken on. In the last month I’ve tackled Thanksgiving, end-of-year preparations for our business, Christmas shopping, holiday parties, a tax audit, dentist/doctor appointments and oh, guess what? We’re putting our home of 19 years on… Read More

It begins as a thought. A sarcastic musing when I read an email or a mean spirited brood over a status on Facebook. An uncharitable opinion, a negative view, a snarky jab. This isn’t who I am but this is exactly who I am when I don’t pay attention to what I’m doing. It’s embarrassing to catch myself having these thoughts. They say that I think you are not good enough, smart… Read More

My daughter watched me burst into tears yesterday. It started in the morning when I connected my new printer and couldn’t get it to work. It was incredibly frustrating but I didn’t despair. I still had options. After uninstalling and reinstalling the software on my laptop, I was able to print wirelessly. I did a little happy dance and thought about buying a lottery ticket. That afternoon, I prepped for homework. No, not my… Read More

I’ve spent the last year learning what it means to trust myself in dark places. I don’t mean darkness in the sense of depression or danger. More like learning to feel my way through the dark without automatically reaching over to turn on a light and asking myself what I need to learn in this place before moving on. Part of that has been separating from outside influences so that I could… Read More

We go to the beach with nothing more than a towel, a bottle of water and a bag for seashells. No phones, no camera. No umbrella, chairs, cooler or sunscreen. We did a full on beach day like that a couple of days before and within 2 hours, the kids were ready to leave. What do you mean you want to go back? When your dad and I used to go to… Read More