Mended Musings

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It begins as a thought. A sarcastic musing when I read an email or a mean spirited brood over a status on Facebook. An uncharitable opinion, a negative view, a snarky jab. This isn’t who I am but this is exactly who I am when I don’t pay attention to what I’m doing. It’s embarrassing to catch myself having these thoughts. They say that I think you are not good enough, smart… Read More

I’ve been angry since my sister died last September. And sad, of course. Confused. Broken open in new places (as if I needed more breaking…see, there’s that anger). Right after she died, there were signs everywhere. I felt her presence. I could hear her voice say, “Karen…”. To me, it was the way you call someone’s name when you want to gently but urgently wake them up. A couple of months after… Read More

  It’s not like I remembered. That’s what I kept thinking as I sat with my family going through old pictures. I’d seen the photographs a hundred times but this time I was seeing details that I’d never noticed before. Art on a wall, a book on a table, a tree in the background… I drove down the street of our childhood home. The old house was torn down long ago but… Read More

Trigger warning: This post is about sexual molestation. If this is a trigger for you, please take care of yourself. About 17 years ago, my husband and I were friends with a couple who had a teenage daughter. She was 14 and was pretty in the way that would someday become beautiful. I couldn’t help but notice the way eyes followed her wherever she went. No one else seemed to notice the… Read More

I was thinking the other day that I haven’t gotten in a fight with anyone in awhile. I haven’t even been annoyed by anyone either, but that could be due to the fact that I avoid Facebook as much as possible. I figured since I don’t currently have a conflict with anyone, now would be a good time to write a post about how to deal with conflict so that when the… Read More

Today marks the 30th day of my No Nelling Challenge, which I embarked upon to help me stop yelling at my kids. When I first got started, I thought that it would be possible to never yell but if it is possible, I’m not there yet. Luckily, I didn’t start over every time I slipped or else I’d be back on day 5. It makes me wonder about the pressure we put… Read More

I’m a yeller. There. I said it. I used to think it was because I’m half-Italian but now I think it’s because yelling is my default when I feel like I’m not being heard. I hate not being heard. In fact, when I think of all the times my husband and I have fought in the last nearly 20 years, I blame the escalation of the fights on me feeling like he’s… Read More

My daughter, who is almost 3, comically controls her universe. If I scold her, she stamps out my words by saying, “Stop talking! Stop talking!” If I give her a disapproving look, she responds by closing her eyes so that she can’t see me. My son, on the other hand, is 4 ½ and developing a conscience. He can’t tolerate disapproval and will often respond with, “I want you to be dead… Read More