Mended Musings

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  I know what you’re going to say. You didn’t do it. It was someone else. It doesn’t matter that there’s not a shred of evidence that points to anyone but you. You will still deny it. You’re doing drugs. Again. You’re acting reckless. Again. I welcomed you back into our lives and you hurt someone I love. Again. But you’re not the only one who has made mistakes. I don’t know… Read More

I’ve spent the last year learning what it means to trust myself in dark places. I don’t mean darkness in the sense of depression or danger. More like learning to feel my way through the dark without automatically reaching over to turn on a light and asking myself what I need to learn in this place before moving on. Part of that has been separating from outside influences so that I could… Read More

Every so often I read a book that sticks with me, makes me remember where I came from and reminds me of the resiliency of the human spirit. Wounds of the Father: A True Story of Child Abuse, Betrayal, and Redemption by Elizabeth Garrison is such a book. Elizabeth suffered unspeakable childhood abuse but what she focuses on in her book is her descent into drug and alcohol addiction and how she… Read More

I’ve always been plagued with having a horrible memory. I know people who can recall every detail from elementary school, every friend they sat with at lunch and every birthday gift they ever received. If it wasn’t for one of my best friends who has that kind of memory, my high school years would be a blur. If it wasn’t for my journals, my past would be mostly lost. My childhood memories are… Read More

When I was in my early 20’s, I went through a very dark period in my life. It was like every bad thing that had ever happened finally caught up to me and I couldn’t deny it any longer. I sank into a deep depression, thought often about dying and just about gave up on life. I haven’t thought much about that time in awhile but it all came back to me… Read More

April is Alcoholism Awareness Month, the purpose of which is to increase awareness and understanding aimed at reducing the stigma associated with alcoholism. It’s the stigma and fear associated with it that often prevents people and their loved ones from seeking help. The word alcoholic makes people uncomfortable, both alcoholics and non-alcoholics alike. For me, it’s kind of like telling people I’m a Christian. You never know how people are going to react.

Change is going on all around me; in my personal life, in the lives of people I care about and in the lives of total strangers. In a lot of ways, I really like change but lately I’ve been feeling resistant to it.  You don’t have to be a Trekkie to understand what the Borg meant when they said, “Resistance is futile.”

I was honored when Janice at Crazy Good Parent asked me to write a guest post.

I love sharing insights that I’ve gained through sobriety, spirituality and parenting and I admit that I like to wrap things up in neat little packages. I don’t usually post until I’ve come to some sort of conclusion that I (and hopefully others) can learn from. I like finding meaning, lessons and most of all, closure. That’s probably why I’ve never written in detail about how I suffered for nearly 30 years… Read More

I painted my kitchen the other day. Not the most exciting start to a blog post but stay with me. I promise there will be a deeper, more meaningful conclusion and that “painting my kitchen” is a euphemism for “I found the meaning of life”. Or something like that.