Every year, Mished-Up chooses a word for the year so since I’m an unapologetic copycat, I’ve been doing the same thing and recording it in my journal. Looking back, my word has always been more fitting for the moment rather than an entire year so today I’m choosing a word for the season.
My word for this season is satiated. I think I’m drawn to the word because I’ve had a hell of a year. Still reeling from the loss of my grandpa, I lost my sister. My husband and I have had financial downs and ups and went into business together. My son started kindergarten twice when the first school didn’t work out (as if once wasn’t hard enough). It’s been a year of situational extremes but we managed to keep our sanity, our kids are healthy and so far middle age and gravity aren’t the I bitch expected them to be. What more could I ask for?
For me, feeling satisfied is about appreciating what I have, even if it’s just one bite.
What makes me feel satiated? A bowl of crunchy peas. Two cookie butter cups. A handful of Arizona pecans. A spoonful of peanut butter drizzled in honey. A square of processed American cheese on Ritz. I would cut off a digit for a bowl of my grandpa’s pasta sauce. Funny story, I once asked him for his recipe. “Just saute onion, garlic and carrot in olive oil, add tomatoes, ground beef and some parsley.” I spent hours over several weekends trying to duplicate it with no success. As I watched him stir his sauce one Sunday afternoon I asked him where I could’ve gone wrong. He said, “I have no idea,” as he dropped in a stick of butter.
I feel full in the best of ways. My heart overflows when my 6 year old tells me that he had a horrible day because all the girls love him too much. A good friend curled my 4 year old’s hair and I saw a glimpse of how gorgeous she’s going to be when she’s a young woman. My husband had successful knee surgery and my dad gets to go to Israel in January. I finally told my mom that I was molested when I was 11 and her hug was the balm on a bruise I had no idea I needed. I get to work with my husband, easily my favorite person on this planet. People I love are scared, hurting and struggling but Jesus has shown us what to do in times like these. It’s hard for me to care that our tree is already dead and the elf forgot to hide one night.
I just want to hug everyone who needs a hug and share the hope that even the darkest night ends. I send you wishes for a merry Christmas and light and love from my little corner of the universe.