I’ve read some great posts lately which have given me insight into the process of healing. I’ll share the links at the bottom.
So often, we think of healing as something we’re doing for ourselves so that we can stand to live in our skin, tolerate difficult circumstances or move on from people, choices and events. We dig deep, confront demons and forgive. We change our perception, accept responsibility and honor what we feel. It’s the process of recovery.
I’ve written about his before so forgive me if I’m rehashing something you’ve already read but a few years ago, I took an online course through Brave Girls Club called Soul Restoration. The most significant part of the course for me was the process of kicking everyone out of my “soul house” and visualizing what it looked like with no one in it but me. I had to confront my most sacred space without the people and things that I wrapped my identity around. Then, slowly, I had to decide who and what to let back in. Who belonged in my sacred space with me? What thoughts, behaviors and beliefs would I let back in?
I’m constantly redecorating my sacred space (I am a girl, after all) but it’s the bones of my inner home that I work on the most. What makes my soul house strong is God, companionship, service and self-care. These are my foundations and when I start to wonder if I spend too much time thinking about this kind of stuff, I remember what happens when our bones get weak.
I love the concept that as we heal ourselves, we heal our lineage. As we seek, our answers constantly change. What we thought meant one thing takes on new meaning as we go through life. I like to think that this open mindedness, if we can sustain it, somehow not only heals us but travels back in time (as we understand it in our limited way) and heals the past as well. Not just the past that we remember, but all pasts we’re connected to. We somehow have a role in healing our parents, their parents, their parents…and the legacy we thought we were left with changes. Therefore, the process of self growth is more than just self indulgent introspection, it’s a responsibility to the future and the past. We can heal our lineage. Amazing.
Maybe all this recovery work, which can feel overwhelming, is really a responsibility to everyone we’re connected to, past and present. And maybe it begins at birth. The moment we’re placed in our parents’ arms, we leave a mark on their hearts and change them forever. Even before our births, really, because many of us have experienced the loss of children we were never able to meet and we know how our hearts are marked by their too-short existence. And if our very existence can change the here and now, who’s to say it can’t change the past?