I’m so excited to feature my first guest blogger ever! She is Jen from Finding Spirit and I felt an instant connection to her from the first post I read. It could be because we gave our son the same name or it could be her sense of humor. Either way, I know you’ll love her!
Jen describes herself as, “Writer, reiki master, intuitive reader, mom of two amazingly crazy boys, merch girl and wife of a whiskey maker. A garden novice, kitchen scientist, DIY skin care pilgrim, and absolutely 100% real. I’m definitely a little more clumsy than most and am a self proclaimed professional dork who believes in the healing power of humor, music, nature, and the invisible world of energy!” xxoo Karen
Today is the first day of summer vacation. I have been looking forward to this day for a very long time now. I had visions of sleeping in an extra hour with no alarm clock, not having to yank the kid from bed. No rushing to make breakfast or scrounging the bare cupboards for healthy lunch food. No having to wipe tears as I drop the kid off at the door to first grade. I was ecstatic about the bliss that would ensue on our first day of “summer.”
I even heard the birds this morning, poetically chirping me awake from my slumber—at 5am.
The 6 year old refused to sleep any longer so there I was at FIVE. AM. There was no getting back to sleep for this tired mama so I started my day. I folded laundry. Did the few dishes that were leftover from yesterday evening. I handed out cereal to the kids sleeping over downstairs. (because the first day of summer means instant sleepovers for the kids, amiright?)
Basically, I tended to what I call my “Mommy Matters.” I call them such because they are the things we have to deal with BEFORE we deal with ourselves. Motherhood, albeit rewarding, is hectic. Sometimes I realize at the end of the day that I forgot to do some tasks I used to take for granted—like taking a shower. To have one is a blessing. To have a warm one without a kid poking the curtain, startling the soap out of your hands, splattering it directly in the eye, causing you to race around the tiny stall in a blind panic with horrible eyeball burn is a full on luxury.
When I do have that moment of bliss, when my legs are shaved and I’m not embarrassed to wear shorts or a skirt, and perhaps I even have a babysitter and a rare date night with the husband…I look down at my self manicured toes and realize I need to change the shaving pattern. There is one hair that CLEARLY does not belong on my ankle. I pray to the dinner gods that no passerby will see this mysterious strand hitchhiking alongside the strap of my heel. I reach down to pluck it and nearly fall off my chair because of the horrendous pain. OH the pain. It is no fun, this pain. I then cross my ankles and make sure to casually sit in the dark recesses of wherever we are, lest someone takes heed of my pour shaving abilities. So, aside from the stray matchbox car and half eaten cookie someone shoved in my purse, apparently I have to carry a disposable razor with me now, too.
Those my friends, are “Mommy Matters.”
Now, I consider myself a spiritual person and thus, try to approach motherhood from a different point of view. (most of the time) When I have those two or three days where I can’t squeeze the shower in, when I step directly on the lego minefield with bare feet, or the kids decide they would rather just beat on each other instead of play, what do I do? Do I beat my head against the wall and pray for it to stop?
Okay yeah, I do that sometimes.
Mostly though, I take a step back from the situation and realize that it’s no good screaming and yelling or even redirecting. Even though my first instinct is to yell I usually have to grit my teeth and bite my tongue. In other words, I try really, really hard to refrain from doing that or even getting angry. Because it really doesn’t do any good, or get any sore of point across, and why send that energy out there anyway? You don’t need it, the kids certainly don’t need it, and the neighbors don’t need to hear it either. Honestly, I don’t care how spiritual you are, we are human beings, too. It’s the balance between both that counts.
So now that I’ve taken a step back from the situation at hand, I take a HUGE deep breath and hold it. Then let it go before I pass out. In my split second mediation I imagine my irritation and anger blowing away with my exhale. After a couple of tries it usually works and allows me to take care of the situation more calmly than I otherwise would have. If it doesn’t work I walk away and bang my head on the wall and pray for my day to get better.
I really do send up some prayers though. Sometimes I simply ask for the best way to resolve the situation. I ask to help me find some balance with the mommy matter so I can handle it calmly. Other times, I sneak away to the bathroom, close the door and just breathe. Even if my kids are on the other side sticking their hands through, trying to get to me, I just sit for a few minutes. I know I need that time alone to calm down.
After all is said and done I try to find the humor in the situation. If I can laugh, and the kids can laugh, the energy completely changes. That is my favorite way to deal with things if at all possible!
There’s other ways to deal with sticky situations, too. But those few steps are my go-to. I think it’s important to deal with those matters as calmly and quickly as possible but also to step outside of your human self and be the spiritual person that you are. To balance both sides, to be you and a parent at the same time. I try to remember that Mommy’s matter, too, And how the heck can we maintain balance in the household or any relationship if we can’t even take care of ourselves?
What are some things you do to bring balance when your world seems a little off-balance?